Over the Top in the Underpass

Cha Cha Cha

Groovy retro chic cafe with garish neon brightens up the dismal subway under the Calvinist Square.

A FourBees review

Some people appear to have arrived in Budapest on a direct flight from la-la-land. Lurking in the dank cellar bars of the city, probably with an obscure vested interest, they would like to read happy, smiley restaurant reviews all day long.
All is delicious and lovely, yum, yum, everything in the garden is rosy, the kind waitress smiles beatifically as she hands you a plate of ambrosia, a goblet of nectar and then polishes your shoes while you dine.
Get real.
I thumbed through the HVG restaurant guide the other afternoon in the Libri bookshop. Surprise, surprise every single blessed establishment offered wonderful food served by delightful staff. How constructive is that?
If it’s more foetid than a camel’s crotch then it’s pretty pointless to say it’s delicious and face a barrage of complaints from readers who happily trotted off there and returned home with the runs.
Many restaurants in Budapest serve truly horrible muck and pass it off as food, and could thus do with an elbow in the direction of edibility.
Fortunately, many are catching on.
This hostelry, praise the Lord, is mighty fine, thus the poison pen nerds can untwist those angry knickers and get ready to do the cha cha cha. It is with some trepidation that I venture down into the underpass beneath Kálvin tér.
The vast cave-like expanse is populated by all manner of troglodytes, their skin pasty from an absence of sunshine. I have been chased across its smelly terrain, shouted at and abused by its inhabitants and I have witnessed some sights I wouldn't write about in letters to my mother.
Kálvin tér aluljáró could never be called dull, a little terrifying maybe, but boring never. However, its dowdy, dusty walls could do with a spot of cheering up.
And Cha Cha Cha is in mind to do it.
Bringing those Latin rhythms, a Csinibaba retro chic and some garish neon, the café brightens up the gloom no end.
The walls and even the menus are papered with giant blown-up black and white photographs of girls in sensible bikinis, lounging in a time when it only cost a few forints to fly to a Cuban beach. The chairs are all in different styles, the red leather seats are a little worse for wear, comfortable to lounge on but difficult to pose and look cool on unless you are the man with the wrap around shades from the Cinzano advertisement.
Authentic rumbas and other Latin rhythms create an authentic atmosphere and Tom Jones and Astrud Gilberto serenade you while you sip Irish coffee (380 forints), a korsó of Dreher (230 forints) or nibble on a salami sandwich sitting under cling-film on every table or a hot frankfurter sausage prepared by the extremely friendly and helpful young waitress.
A giant chrome cappuccino machine sits on top of a wacky bar which has little red and blue circular lights twinkling merrily.
One entire wall of the tiny café is reinforced glass, looking out on the Kálvin tér underground life, so you do feel rather exposed, sitting in a goldfish bowl like some scaly window display dummy. Sip your cappuccino carefully: Dribble it down your kipper tie and you have one hundred witnesses.
The walls are lined with ancient radios and TV sets with humorous messages and the general comic ambiance is infectious, as if we are all in on some secret joke.
Most mornings the five or so table-and-chair clusters are already occupied even at the early hour when Cha Cha Cha first opens, as people enjoy a musical wallow in nostalgia.
Outside, a store window mannequin dressed as a waitress braves the subway, waiting to greet customers, who can enjoy hot chocolate, varieties of coffee and a selection of teas.
The subway wall opposite is covered with photos of the goings-on at the Cha Cha Cha parties which last until dawn most nights, spilling out onto the fragrant, dripping concrete of the underpass. After hours, the cafe changes into one of the hippest clubs in town, a place where the gorgeous young things gather, dance and check out the talent.
The managers of Cha Cha Cha have obviously put great care and energy into creating a lively bar filled with detail and their enthusiasm has paid off as it is always packed out and brings a touch of class to a gloomy cave.

LATEST BUZZ: Cha Cha Cha's summer venue on Margit-sziget (Margaret Island) in the middle of the Danube opened again on May 11, 2006.
Swing your pants in the park.

Cha Cha Cha
Budapest - Distrct IX
Kálvin tér subway
Getting there: Metro 3 (blue line) to Kálvin tér
Tel: (+36 1) 215-0545
Open daily 10am-dawn
Cha Cha Cha website

THE STING
Décor 8/10
Cuisine 6/10
Service 7/10
Wine List 5/10
Ambience 7/10
The Bees' Knees 7/10