Behavioural problems

Gawd, praise de Lawd for Speculoooooooooooooooos

FourBees has a visceral loathing of celebrity chefs.

Doesn't the sight of Jammy Oilyver's tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth like a drooling village idiot put you right off your liver and onions?

Personally, it makes me heave and never want to eat again, ever.

The really annoying thing is that celebrity chefs serve so little purpose in life, except perhaps to line the cooks' already overly-stuffed pockets of their ill-fitting overcoats and inflate their already illogically gigantic egos with an unrealistic magnified estimation of their self-worth and value to society.

FourBees has never used a recipe, except for the occasional quiche, but then La Grande Abeille is not overly keen on dry-carbs anyway and you can get a pastry case at Match for €1.60, shove in some courgettes, tomatoes, garlic, onions, mushrooms and liberal sprinklings of fresh parsley, basil, thyme and rosemary, and a begrudging egg or four (things in shells give me the willies) - problem solved.

It seems to me that anyone with an inkling about ingredients, a bit of imagination and €20 to spend in Delhaize, could eat in a restaurant and then re-create a divine and vastly superior version of the meal a few days later, minus the saliva/snot/spunk from the disgruntled sous chef...

FourBees worked for seven long years as a restaurant critic in a lard-infested cuisine-hell Central European city and many's the night she spent writhing around in agony, endless packets of Rennie and Milk of Magnesia by the bucket. Count the nights, the pain, the nausea...

Visit the FourBees Beehaviour myspace site for more ranting.